Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ceiling Fans

Here's a little problem that I encountered last summer. On a scorching August day, I pulled on the little cord hanging from our ceiling fan to start the blades rotating. I am expecting a gush of cool air to greet my sweating face. Instead, I received a rush of pain as a fan blade "happened" to dislodge from the unit and crash onto my head. You could barely hear my cursing over the loud fan's engine wobble.

The scamper of three sets of junior sized feet echoed up the stairwell as they raced to see what made Mom say such awful words. Their eyes were as big as saucers when they happened upon the scene and I looked directly into each pair. I was hoping to peer into their souls and see who was to blame. There they stood lined up and the first words out were, "We didn't do it!"

After an intense line of questioning, I had gotten nowhere. I moved onto the next suspect- my hubby. He swore he didn't know anything about it- he proclaimed his innocence.

"It must have been all the dust on the blades that made it break," he reasoned as he examined the break in the metal.

Yeah right! I may not have been the best housekeeper, but a layer of dust is not going to cause a fan blade to break in half. I have never learned the truth and it has become our family's own "who dunnit?" mystery. But on the bright side, I did get a new fan out of the deal. It sure beats the old wicker blades from the 80's.

Maybe I was the one who did it in? Only time will tell. . .

French Fry Purgatory

I am not a religious scholar or a doctoral student in theology, but as a mother of three boys- I feel I need to delve into a topic that I find has relevance to us all. Even if you don't have children who munch in your backseat, you can relate. Please don't laugh, it's a serious topic. I want to introduce you to the French Fry Purgatory (a.k.a. the backseat floor!).

I stumbled upon this phenomenon when my oldest son was about 2 years old and we decided to vacuum the minivan. You start out thinking that it's an easy task- until you unearth a year's worth of dried, forgotten french fries stuck to the carpet and lodged underneath the car seat. I think we managed to find enough fries for one or two super sized servings. That's a lot of potatoes we could have saved from meeting an awful fate. I spent hard earned money on those spuds! At least they could have been composted- not left to wait around for me to clean.

I am sure I was imagining the salty goodness they would have indulged upon my son's little taste buds. Not that they would become part of our vehicle decor! No one goes around debating about whether McDonald's or Burger King fries would match their interior leather seats better. And I am almost 100% positive that those smelly little pine trees don't come in "french fry" scent.

What is a mother to do? We tried to ban the boys from eating in the vehicle. THAT didn't work.

So we bought a dog- which worked great until he developed high cholesterol and I had to spend way more money on his medicine than I would have used in quarters for the vacuum at the car wash.

What did work? I switched the kids over to apple fries, but that led to a whole new set of problems...